So I posted this yesterday over on my timeline. I had no intention of writing a post like this but as soon as sat down to write something it all flowed out from somewhere other than my head. Honestly I was “in flow” as it is called and felt I had no choice but to say this. I posted without thinking and what I got back were just a stream of wonderful and supportive comments which has made me even more determined to speak out more. To be the one who is not afraid to say the truth about all I experience. I even got a hug on the school run from a lovely Mummy. All of this made me feel safe and very secure so expect to see alot more of me baring all (via words and not photos… the world is not ready for that!!)
This post was very much from a place of me feeling like I had to justify my future projects as I felt people were looking at me, gossiping behind my back and basically judging me.. I felt truly ashamed that I just could not settle…. but actually I don’t think this could be further from the truth. I have no doubt some people will be sneering but they are not my tribe.. they are not the people I want to be near so the more I speak MY truth.. the more likely I will be to find more people like me… and that is my current goal.
A friend also shared the picture over to the right with me… this is what I am talking about 😉 Will you stick around?!
So here is my post which I have copy and pasted… With love and blessings. Victoria xx
Hello friends and family 😉 I just wanted to give you fair warning…
Following on from one of the worst years since being in business ( I have been suffering quite badly with PND and feel like I have nearly lost everything because of it) I am treating the new academic year as a new year and fresh start for me and my business. To be honest I feel like celebrating as I refused to let it take me fully under and am relieved that I have managed to keep it together… even if by the skin of my teeth.
With this in mind I am about to be launching quite a bit over the next few weeks. I am both excited about getting all of this finally out of my head now I feel stronger than I have all year, but I am also scared.
Scared of being judged, scared of it failing, scared as I will confuse people with all my creative craziness….
But here is one of the things which has set me back to mental health….
I have started to fall in love with who I am. I know this will sound odd to anyone who has never studied self development BUT for almost all my life I have hated myself because I can’t spell, I can’t stick to one thing, I can’t settle, I can’t conform into someone else’s system.. even if it means risking everything to break out. I have spent my entire life wishing I was someone else…. someone who could settle…
But if I was someone else then I wouldn’t be living the life I am now and while the last year has been beyond shitty I KNOW with every fiber of my being that the next year will be the best of my life. I will break through so many levels and finally allow myself to get out of my own way and own who I am. A brave entrepreneur with far too many ideas to count who refuses to follow the “pick one thing” route as this feels like I am having to choose a child to keep. I want to keep them all and am prepared to fight for them.
Soooooo please bare with me as I share all my collaborations, projects and business ventures with you over the coming month (there are a few!) I am aware to most of you it will look like I have lost the plot…
… but just know that every one of my projects is centered around helping women to set themselves free from the system, to help them create space for themselves and their dreams in an ever demanding world and helping them find ways to boost their results with as little time or effort as possible so they have plenty of time to spend doing what they love GUILT FREE.
As I have told all my friends I am seconds away from becoming a full blown feminist as I believe Women are the ones who will change the world (sorry guys) I believe that we are all amazing and yet we live in a world which does not support us which is why we end up settling for anything less that what we truly want. I believe we would be running the world already if we didn’t have a constant guilt battle over our family and our ambitions and it is because of this internal struggle that we often step aside.
I am committed to finding ways in which we can achieve everything that is in our hearts, with out sacrifice, and if I am naive in my thinking, and the reality is that we do have to settle for less than we want in this world, then at least I tried.
PS: I am aware my punctuation is totally out… but I don’t care… sorry! There are more important things in the world that the correct positioning of a comma.